Quick workaround in the aftermath of an emotional expectation unmet:
1) Ask: How did I want this other person to behave or respond?
2) Ask: What would that have meant about me? Repeat the question several times, until you get to the quality or underlying emotional experience desired (i.e. It would mean I am.... valid, desirable, good enough, worthy, etc.)
3) Remember that the person who disappointed you is just another human work-in-progress, doing the best they can, acting and reacting from their own fixed beliefs, perspectives, and level of awareness. They are dealing with their own insecurities, their own internal atmosphere, and not to mention, their own daily tasks. Nothing is personal.
4) Ask: Why am I giving this other being so much control over my self-opinion? Why am I giving them so much authority in MY own life?
5) Take that quality or qualities from step 2 and affirm to yourself that you already are and always have been _______ (i.e. enough, worthy, important). No one else is the source of you feeling ________. Another person can be the activator, but all emotional states of being originate and are sustained from within.
6) Repeat step 5. Every day if you have to. Be your own activator.
I will never ever join you in your hopelessness.
I will never ever believe that things are as helpless as you may temporarily believe.
I will always orient you toward solution.
I will always indicate what we must NOW do.
I will never harp on your “wrong” turns.
I will only ever guide you back in the “right” direction.
You can choose to line up with me to replenish your sense of hope and renew your sense of purpose or you can choose to continue having the same old negative and depleting conversations with other scared, disconnected people.
That mind of yours - that “thinking cap” you wear - can be plugged into whatever thought form you choose. A mob-mentality or predominant popular opinion may be a challenge to avoid but YOUR point of focus, YOUR place of attention is always YOUR choice.
Step away from the others for a second.
Put down your devices and their constant stream of information.
Connect to me first, before anything or anyone else. Seek me out at the center of your being. Regularly. Daily. Whenever you need.
I am always here for you.
So is peace.
So is calm.
So many inspired ideas.
So many ways to assist, to be a positive contribution to the world in which you live.
I hold all the answers to your questions.
I possess the maps to all your desired destinations.
And I will always be your safe space of regeneration and renewal, no matter the chaos that surrounds.
- The Source Within/Your Inner Divinity
People may tell you that the world you live in- the way you perceive the world around you - just isn't reality. The things you see, feel into, or believe in are not real.
What they actually mean is that you threaten their concept of reality. People will judge and negate that which they fear and are unable to understand. The truth is that we all have different levels of sensitivity. We sense and perceive the world around us as it appears to us. And because of that, we may not see the same things. But it's all fine. There's room for all of us. We all serve different purposes and we can all peacefully coexist. Those who see a purple sky and those who couldn't ever imagine it not being blue.
Nothing is personal. How people behave is based on whatever they’ve got going on with them. Everyone has their own insecurities, stressors, triggers, anxieties, and challenging life circumstances. We’ve all got our own burdens. Light or heavy, we’re all carrying something with us into our daily interactions.
Just because someone else’s treatment of you is not personal, doesn’t mean you should ignore your emotional reaction to the situation. Spiritually bypassing a negative emotion is only prolonging the inevitable. Often the best way out is through. Emotions are energy in MOTION. They want/need to move. Whatever arises within you, face it, feel it, forgive it, and let it work its way through your system. Never underestimate the healing power of a 5 minute ugly-cry.
Everything is purposeful. Take whatever time you need to emotionally process. When you’re ready and able to, take the focus off of your reactionary self. Look through and above the situation, from the highest vantage point possible. Ask your wisest self (who already knows): what is this really about? What is the opportunity for me here? What awareness have I gained? What has this situation inspired in me? What new choice can I now make? What new energy can I be? What new actions can I take? And what kind of lasting positive change can I hope to experience in MY life as a result? Move forward accordingly.
Give another person your full attention today. Put down your physical distractions. Tune out your mental ones. Actually listen to what the other person is saying. Hear their words and the spaces in between. Hold the space for their authenticity. Be open, be patient, be compassionate. Attempt to understand their point of view.
I know, multitasking seems to be a necessity these days. We've all got a million super important things that need to get done and we seem to allllways be short on time. Yet, taking a few minutes to be fully present with another person is a huge gift. For both parties. Because, in truth, we all want to be acknowledged and accepted for who we are- for who we really are. We all long to be understood. We all want to feel valued. And we all benefit from soulful connection.
Be present with another soul today. Allow them to feel seen and heard without judgment. Remind them of who they really are underneath surface appearances and chosen identities. Remind them with your undivided attention. Remind them of their importance. Remind them that they matter.
Yeah, the world feels like a kinda crazy, kinda scary, rapidly shifting place right now. What has been helping me, among other things, is to think about how much awareness is being gained, how much compassion is being activated, and how many people are waking up. To think about the potency of this time period. About how much good we can really do. Even our "small," daily, intentional prayerful moments have an effect.
Despite being on a lovely family vacation, I've been feeling and processing these heavy collective energies, anchoring in the deeper truths and affirming the highest visions of balance. After all, we are co-creators on this planet of cause and effect and what we focus on grows.
I'm currently working on a resource for energetically sensitive individuals. It feels... necessary. Sensi-identifying or not, as humans we are all empathic. And it's usually when we are unconscious of our own sensitivity and natural empathic response, when we do not recognize our responsibility in maintaining our own energetic boundaries, that we get swept up in the vibration of another. We may also become incredibly susceptible to getting caught up in a collective energetic movement, especially the movements that are rooted in fear and negativity. Fear and negativity will not aid you on your mission to change that which needs changing. Fear and negativity will deplete you. You are no good to the world when depleted. The world needs your authentic spark. The world needs your hope-based thoughts AND positive actions.
One quick tip: Plug into your true source before your news source. Before you let another temporary entity set the tone for your day, set your own. Whatever your spiritual practices are- meditation, yoga, exercise, nature walks, chakra clearing, earthing, time with your pet, mindfully brushing your teeth and just breathing - whatever it is that reconnects you to your own center, do that first. Do it before turning on the TV, checking your newsfeed, putting on the radio, etc. It's important to be informed but it's more important to stay empowered.
It's very easy to get overwhelmed. To have to do so many things, to be present for so many people, and to be in so many places at once. Obligations, responsibilities, daily tasks and chores. Our personal energies split, scatter, and are often depleted before the day is through.
Everyone I've talked to this week- myself included- has been feeling the repercussions of being constantly connected to the people in our lives- as well as the anxious buzz of the outside world. If we don't plug in our own rechargeable batteries first, before giving of our energy, we won't have much to give. If we don't center in our own unique selves first, we can feel lost, confused, and completely disconnected from our intuition. We won't be able to hear that vital inner voice- the one that always guides us in the right direction. Mine keeps reminding me: "go somewhere green and ground."
Even if it's just within your imagination. It really only takes 1 minute to plant your feet in the grass and to become aware of YOUR breath, YOUR body, and the fact that you are a human being (doing the best you can) on a spinning planet somewhere in space.
Self-care isn't selfish. It's essential.
I was in Sprouts the other day and “My Favorite Things” from the Sound of Music soundtrack was playing, which is a pretty odd supermarket music choice, right? I thought so. Either way, I was really happy I heard it because it made me realize something: that song is pretty much THE answer. To EVERYTHING.
Ok. Not to everything. But possibly to every negative shift in mood. Every fearful reaction - thought or feeling.
“... I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.”
Um yeah. Duh. When you focus on your favorite things or think of people that you appreciate and love, you don’t feel AS bad. It doesn’t mean that you ignore your emotional reaction or “spiritually bypass” your current circumstance, but you just don’t linger there in helpless identification too long.
It’s not that the shitty stuff that happened or the issue you are dealing with is going to go away but it definitely prevents the fear and negative momentum around it from growing. It raises your overall mood (energetic vibration) so that you can actually get space around whatever circumstance you’re in and view it with some distance. And more than that, you can be energetically open enough to receive solutions. Because as we know, solutions are never found at the same level as the problem. I mean, even Einstein said that.
And because our nervous system can’t tell the difference between something that we are actually presently experiencing and something we are just imagining or remembering as an experience - we can have the same emotional reaction to an actual event as to a memory or fantasy of an event. This is the reason why people say “think of your happy place” and it tends to work.
My Favorite Things. So simple and totally worth doing. I mean, isn’t that what we really all want anyways? To not feel so bad... or really, to feel good/better/happier?
Thanks, Sprouts and the musical theater lover who chooses your playlist.