There’s a church in my neighborhood that always displays helpful messages on its marquee. Today’s gem was: “Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because it’s fake.”
Amazing. Thank you, church marquee. As always, everything and everyone outside of you is just a mirror and a symbol. Jealousy is a highlighter of what you think you lack and/or an indicator of where you’re headed next. After all, what it seems like others have is often just your own projection. You don’t have all of the details. You can’t see everything behind the scenes. Life is lived in between those Instagrammable moments. People are much more than what they appear to be on a screen.
Remember you are creating your own experience here with every breath, every thought, every energetic spiral forward, every vibration that you BE. Ask “what am I telling myself about what this person seems to be telling me? What does it appear like they have that I don’t?” Whatever emotional experiences they appear to be having (i.e. approval, freedom, self-acceptance) are just showing you what you are ready to activate within yourself. Take what you need to assist you on your own path, leave what you don’t- especially any disempowering stories of someone else’s perfection and your relative imperfection. Not everything is what it seems to be.
It’s all just grass until you decide upon the shade.
Popularity doesn't always prove talent. It doesn't indicate value or worth. The chase after fame is a perpetual one, a never-ending dance with dissatisfaction. How completely exhausting.
A solution? Just put your focus on the work. Make your art. Keep following your joy. Be yourself. With or without the outside validation. In this world there is so much extraordinary existing within relative obscurity. Be extraordinary. Focus on what you're here to do- what you love to do- and do it. Have fun. And don't worry about the rest.
I'm currently working on a resource for energetically sensitive individuals. It feels... necessary. Sensi-identifying or not, as humans we are all empathic. And it's usually when we are unconscious of our own sensitivity and natural empathic response, when we do not recognize our responsibility in maintaining our own energetic boundaries, that we get swept up in the vibration of another. We may also become incredibly susceptible to getting caught up in a collective energetic movement, especially the movements that are rooted in fear and negativity. Fear and negativity will not aid you on your mission to change that which needs changing. Fear and negativity will deplete you. You are no good to the world when depleted. The world needs your authentic spark. The world needs your hope-based thoughts AND positive actions.
One quick tip: Plug into your true source before your news source. Before you let another temporary entity set the tone for your day, set your own. Whatever your spiritual practices are- meditation, yoga, exercise, nature walks, chakra clearing, earthing, time with your pet, mindfully brushing your teeth and just breathing - whatever it is that reconnects you to your own center, do that first. Do it before turning on the TV, checking your newsfeed, putting on the radio, etc. It's important to be informed but it's more important to stay empowered.
I always start out making these little doodles as reminders for myself. When I feel the pull to share them I think it's because someone else out there needs the reminder too. I don't know who this is for but I hope it brings you a bit of relief and comfort. We aren't here to be copies of each other. We aren't here to live out what others project or expect for us. We don't have to live a life that doesn't feel true or authentic to our own being. We may get inspired by what others do and have, we might find similarities and points where we intersect, but overall our lives are uniquely ours. We get to draw and color them in as we choose based on what feels best to us and for us at any given time.
How much money you make, whether or not you own your home, what kind of car you drive, the number of countries you've been to, which celebrities you hang with, the amount of shiny things you possess, and how many followers you've accumulated on social media may be interesting and impressive to some degree, but it's kind of irrelevant if it doesn't also accompany a high level of integrity, a way of showing generosity and kindness to others, a passion for the work you do or atleast the causes you believe in, courageousness in approaching and overcoming life's challenges, a willingness to learn and evolve and better yourself as a person, an ability to listen and support those closest to you with unconditional love and compassion, and an overall desire to be a positive contribution to the world. That other stuff is cool but it's heart that matters more.
What good is this now inspiring me to do? What expression of love is this now inspiring me to be?
We all have the ability to positively affect the environment around us. We get stuck in upsetting news or events when we feel powerless, but our power always lies in our ability to alter our energetic expression. To focus our attention toward solution. To see beyond current circumstances. To have new conversations. To ask new questions. To create space for new possibilities. To take actions from a place of love, compassion, and hope. To encourage others to do the same. May what upsets you in the world, be what inspires you to change it.
It's very easy to get overwhelmed. To have to do so many things, to be present for so many people, and to be in so many places at once. Obligations, responsibilities, daily tasks and chores. Our personal energies split, scatter, and are often depleted before the day is through.
Everyone I've talked to this week- myself included- has been feeling the repercussions of being constantly connected to the people in our lives- as well as the anxious buzz of the outside world. If we don't plug in our own rechargeable batteries first, before giving of our energy, we won't have much to give. If we don't center in our own unique selves first, we can feel lost, confused, and completely disconnected from our intuition. We won't be able to hear that vital inner voice- the one that always guides us in the right direction. Mine keeps reminding me: "go somewhere green and ground."
Even if it's just within your imagination. It really only takes 1 minute to plant your feet in the grass and to become aware of YOUR breath, YOUR body, and the fact that you are a human being (doing the best you can) on a spinning planet somewhere in space.
Self-care isn't selfish. It's essential.
A pang of jealousy is a helpful little lightbulb, illuminating the areas in which we feel a lack. It's an internal alarm that wakes us up to any feelings of unworthiness. It notifies us of where we may need to alter our self-perception. Instead of holding onto this heaviness and letting it immobilize you, why not use it to your advantage and then let it go?
In any moment of unexpected jealousy, ask yourself "what am I telling myself about what this person is telling me? What does it seem like they have? How must they be feeling?" And then, "what is it that I REALLY want? How do I really want to feel?"
We say we want the thing (i.e. the romantic relationship, the high paying job, the trending body type) but we may just want the emotional experience it promises (i.e. connection, freedom from worry, self-acceptance). We seek the form but it's often the feeling, the essence, the quality underneath it that we desire.
If you're coveting a certain quality - be it love, excitement, purpose, abundance, etc., then you also have the capacity to experience it. We are all connected. Every feeling that has ever and could ever be felt by a human being exists somewhere within you. It may be lying dormant but it's there, waiting for recognition and activation. Keep inquiring. Get to the root of what you really want- the emotional experience that you really desire to have. Where do you already have bits and pieces of it in your life? Focus your attention and your gratitude there. Start with the feeling itself and let it grow. Cultivate that energy. Conscious manifestation always originates within.
Sometimes, with this whole social media thing, it can be easy to forget that there are actual people on the other end of these posts and profiles. Not just faceless followers. Not just numbers for vetting or validating your brand. But, like, real, heart-beating, air-breathing, life-living people.
Genuine interest in making a connection is just as easy to smell as spam.
In a world where we have constant access to the daily activities and accomplishments of friends and strangers, it can be easy to feel unimportant and not good enough as we measure our own value and success against the projected images of others. A quick scroll through our social media feeds can sometimes lead to a barrage of self-abusing thoughts as we compare our current state of affairs to what we see: "Wow, they got...? Did...? Went there with ...? I'm not doing that. I don't have that. They're so much better/cooler/richer/hotter blah blah blah."
These thoughts may arrive naturally, but they won't stick around long if you remember the TRUTH: that no one else has ever or will ever live life as YOU. You are a 100% unique creature- even if you share similarities with others or identify with an archetype and trope of personality- you are the only you. No one can know this life as you know it. They haven't experienced your exact experiences, thought your thoughts, seen through your lenses of perception, felt the sensations you've felt through your skin. You are here to be you. No one else. So in that case, success can only truly be measured by how much you are accepting of and expressing as your authentic self.
Having a window into other peoples' lives doesn't have to be detrimental. It can actually be inspiring. Instead of spinning out in self-hatred, use those momentary sparks of jealousy to light a fire within your own unique being. Peek around that newly illuminated space and notice the buried desires, hidden hopes, natural curiosities, and true interests that are trying to get your attention. Even if they're really f-ing weird and different. They are yours. And losing yourself in them - following them wherever they may take you- will eventually lead to feelings of accomplishment and fulfillment. Reconnect to your soul and the true source of your happiness and success. It's always within you.