Trust your inner knowings. Rely on your own feels. No one else is hooked up to your sensory equipment. No one else receives the immediate wisdom of your soul. Your intuition speaks directly to you. Your heart is yours alone. Your life, your lessons, your timing, your truth. Other people may have an opinion, but ultimately, the only one that matters is your own.
Here's an alternative mindset I've been practicing whenever I find myself fearfully scrambling to figure it all out RIGHT NOW:
"I don't know how it's going to happen. I don't know how it's all going to work. I don't know how I'm going to get there. But I'm super excited to find out. "
This isn't the first time you didn't know the way. Yet, somehow you still managed to arrive. This time is no different. Stay open to being guided. Believe you will be shown. Rely on your intuition. Follow the path as it appears. Keep the vision. Take the steps. Trust the process.
Yesterday I looked at the dirty plastic folding chair on my porch- the one that looks like I pulled it out of the trash - and thought, "you know, I'd really like to have better furniture out here." I've thought about upgrading for awhile but never really prioritized it as a must-do. So as I had done before, I had the thought, made the simple energetic request, and imagined what it would feel like to enjoy my outdoor space more. I figured I'd look for something over the weekend and so I went about my day and forgot about it.
Then, in a magical turn of events last night, my neighbor randomly asked me if I wanted some of his old outdoor furniture- specifically a steel rocking chair- still in great condition and the perfect size for my porch. Umm yes, please.
Why some things manifest in minutes and others seem to take forever is a mystery. Perhaps it's a combination of our readiness and our resistance levels, how attached we are to the outcome, and how much we can trust in the unfathomable magic of divine timing.
Today I will be humble. I will be aware of my simultaneous significance and insignificance as a human being. I will be loving. I will greet others with the same respect and warmth I would hope to receive. I will be grateful. I will remember the interconnection of all things, the illusion of linear time, and the truth that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. I will know that all that once existed still exists in different form. I will feel safe in my body, trusting that the natural expression of my essence is the temporary role I am here to play. Whatever passions excite me, whatever delights my spirit, whatever leaves me with a peaceful sense of purpose, is the way in which I send out love to my environment. It is my unique contribution to the collective. I will be myself. I will walk the world with patience and with ease, knowing that wherever I wander I am home.
"Impatience means I believe something’s not going to happen.“ -Joe Dispenza
“Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.“ -A Course In Miracles
I really liked this combo of quotes. Especially if we‘re talking about presence, patience, following the energy of the moment, and trusting in life as our co-creative partner. (And we‘re always talking about that).
Just going to leave them right here...
“Life takes care of me. Always. I have nothing to fear and I have everything to appreciate. I am never doing this alone. I can walk in the world with ease, trusting that all comes to me and all comes to be in perfect time.”
This was the message that came through my higher guidance this morning when I asked what I could remember to help me move through some of the resistance I was feeling toward my day. Despite “knowing better” I had a huge feeling of overwhelm and responsibility. The need to get my plans in motion and to figure out all the details right now.
A couple of hours later, while running on a rarely frequented street in my neighborhood, I stopped to take this picture. It occurred to me afterwards that I had taken a very similar photo in the exact same spot nearly 2 years ago. So much has taken place since then. So many experiences and opportunities that came in - often by pleasant surprise - and all in a way that was beyond my imagination. Beyond what I could have figured out beforehand or attempted to do alone.
Thank you life for the perfect example. I get it. Trust trust trust trust trust...
Maybe life isn't withholding anything from you after all. Maybe it's just waiting on your readiness and relying on your willingness to change so that it can set up all the important pieces, arrange meetings with the relevant players, and slowly prepare you for the part you hope to play, the things you'd like to experience, and the way you'd like to feel. Maybe you're right where you need to be in this process of alignment. Maybe life is actually supporting you with its timing as it orchestrates - and excitedly anticipates -your eventual becoming.
Spectrum Cable called me about 10 times in a week. I knew it was going to be a sales call, one in which a bored telemarketer reads from a script, trying to get me to upgrade my Internet-only service and buy something I don't need. I didn't want to deal with the scenario but after enough calls I finally answered, trying my best to actually connect to the human being on the line, even if they came across more like a robot. After making it clear I had no desire to get cable or a landline, I figured the call was over. But then she started up with another "Did you know..." and I stopped her before she could finish. "I don't want anything else! Unless I'm going to pay less for Internet, I'm really not interested." What I wanted was to get off the phone. I think we both did. The whole scenario just felt so fake and programmed. Before we could get off the call however, she finished that "did you know" sentence. And what I didn't know? Spectrum was giving their Internet customers free access to 1000's of streaming movies and TV shows. That's all she wanted to tell me. They were giving me a gift. Thanks, Spectrum.
I hung up feeling a bit foolish and embarrassed. It made me realize how often I anticipate the negative. It made me think- what if life keeps trying to give you gifts but you and your cynicism- your fearful expectations- keep swatting them away? What if there was something good here for you? What if you always just expected something good?
There really is an answer to every call, a deliverance for every request. It's real. It's resonance. Energetic. Scientific. What you are looking for is looking for you too. Just have to keep your mind clear enough to receive the guidance, your body tuned in enough to show you the way. What you are hoping to find, is hoping to be found. Just have to keep your eyes -and heart- open enough to recognize it when you do.
I will never ever join you in your hopelessness.
I will never ever believe that things are as helpless as you may temporarily believe.
I will always orient you toward solution.
I will always indicate what we must NOW do.
I will never harp on your “wrong” turns.
I will only ever guide you back in the “right” direction.
You can choose to line up with me to replenish your sense of hope and renew your sense of purpose or you can choose to continue having the same old negative and depleting conversations with other scared, disconnected people.
That mind of yours - that “thinking cap” you wear - can be plugged into whatever thought form you choose. A mob-mentality or predominant popular opinion may be a challenge to avoid but YOUR point of focus, YOUR place of attention is always YOUR choice.
Step away from the others for a second.
Put down your devices and their constant stream of information.
Connect to me first, before anything or anyone else. Seek me out at the center of your being. Regularly. Daily. Whenever you need.
I am always here for you.
So is peace.
So is calm.
So many inspired ideas.
So many ways to assist, to be a positive contribution to the world in which you live.
I hold all the answers to your questions.
I possess the maps to all your desired destinations.
And I will always be your safe space of regeneration and renewal, no matter the chaos that surrounds.
- The Source Within/Your Inner Divinity
It takes real inner strength to love so boldly. To be vulnerable, authentic, and true. How very impressive it is to unapologetically wear your heart on your sleeve, to brazenly display it on your petals, to not hide it in the face of possible rejection. To be that unabashed and open? Wow. It takes real courage to lead with love. This flower gets it.
Every time I've tried to be someone else, when I've played into other people's expectations of me, or walked in a direction that did not feel authentic or true, I've been completely miserable. I was pleasing others, sure, but I was ignoring who I really was and could be. And every time that I have listened to my higher wisdom, when I followed the pulls of genuine curiosity, desire, and interest - when I did what was most loving for me even if it was really f*cking weird or different or sometimes nonsensical, even if it temporarily disappointed others because of what they needed me to be for them - I've discovered and attracted all kinds of joy, fulfillment, and magic. And I've also become a better daughter, sister, friend, and overall person because of it.
Guilt still comes up at times. But reminding myself of the principle "what is most loving for me is most loving for you" helps. It's not easy to move in your own often quirky and unpredictable way- to trust yourself enough to do so- but ultimately it's the most freeing thing one can do.
Finding exactly what you're looking for is awesome. Finding what you didn't even know you were looking for is way better.
What if you let life surprise you? What if you expected to find something good, but didn't put any restrictions on how good it could be? What if it was better than you could even imagine?
A friend keeps reminding me to "live in the question." So ok. Today I'm living in those.
Last night I had a dream that I was running down the street; trying to make my way to the house of a couple whose lifestyle I admire. I've never met them in real life, but have been so inspired by their story through their blogs and podcasts. It's almost as if discovering them two years ago allowed me to rediscover a part of myself and the kind of life I really want to live. And so somewhere along the way, they must have become a symbolic representation of the future I've been working towards. In the dream, I felt like I could not run fast enough. I kept trying to push myself harder, but my pace remained a steady jog, instead of a sprint. I heard some threatening noises coming from across the street. I just HAD to reach my destination. I bumped into other people who crossed my path. I kept going. Kept trying to increase my speed. I had to get there and quick! And then before I could even make it, I woke up.
Sometimes dreams can be the most precious gifts of self-awareness. To attach a sense of solace or personal fulfillment to a future destination or temporary object is to forget the significance of the daily journey. It is to miss out on all the potent opportunities to meet life fully, to free ourselves through presence and to evolve through self-acceptance. We may be putting so much pressure on ourselves to get THERE, yet it is only ever HERE - in surrender to the truth of the moment - that a deeper sense of personal peace, healing, love, and sustained fulfillment can be found. The desires we have for the future are necessary for direction, motivation, and positive action. Our goals keep us moving toward more experiences of freedom and of joy. Yet, it's only in the NOW, that we ever get to feel it.
These petals fell off some flowers sitting in a nearby vase. While rearranging them into a pretty picture, I had this thought come through: Things are never as awful or as hopeless as you tell yourself they are. Difficult? Yes. Challenging? Yes. Requiring you to sit with sadness, discomfort, regret, and/or loneliness? Yes. Asking you to release your need to control everything? Yes!!! But hopeless? If you are still breathing, the answer is no.
There's always another way to achieve the essence of what you are seeking, another angle to approach from, another purpose to serve. There's always something new on its way- something just on the horizon- that you are not yet able to fully see. Trust that it's good and it will be. Trust that you are moving towards what you desire to experience (and how you desire to feel) more and more each day. Trust and then let your petals fall where they will.
Possible Q's: Why would I try to do what so many other people are doing and have already done? Does the world really need another___?
Pertinent A's: Yes, there may be others on a similar path, with a similar style, all sharing a similar picture of success, but there is no one else in the world that is exactly like you. No one else has lived your unique combination of experiences and can bring to your endeavors exactly what you bring. No two people are the same.
If you are pulled by joyful curiosity, genuine interest, and heart-felt desire, then there must be a reason for it. Even if you don't know what it is yet. Trust it and move forward at your own natural pace, in your own natural way. Each of us has a variety of roles to play, messages to share, people to reach, and services to provide. We're all interconnected, all a part of a much larger incomprehensible picture. So, how can you, in your limited human awareness, ever really know what the world actually needs?
Maybe it needs just the thing you've been holding back from it.
Love is most definitely not about possession. Yikes. But it's also not about projection.
If I am only seeing you as I want you to be, if I am so immersed in my own imagined fantasy of our connection, if my expectations take me on a wild ride, then I am not grounded in the here and now. I am not connected to the energetic truth of this moment. I may not be able to recognize what is happening below the surface, that there may be a very obvious energetic dissonance between us. That we may, in fact, have nothing in common! In these moments of projection in the guise of "finding" love, I am not present with you as you really are. I'm actually not even seeing you at all. I'm seeing what I want and hope to see. I'm casting you in a role you haven't yet signed on for. I'm somewhere in Act 3 before the opening credits have even finished. And so if/when you suddenly lose interest in the project, I will suffer at the loss of such a potentially important character and scramble to find the reasons why you didn't want to play the part. I'll feel rejected, not good enough, and totally disappointed yet I'm the only source of my suffering- I'm the one giving my power away to an illusion.
The causes of this behavior are varied but the solution is the same: Let go and trust that you are enough in this moment. That you don't need to force or make anything happen. That there are millions of people in the world and when a true energetic connection is present and when both parties are open and ready for companionship, things naturally progress. All you ever need to be is honest and authentic. All you ever need to seek is your self-acceptance and self-healing. Get so good and comfortable in your own being, so full of the love that is ALWAYS within you- that you can greet another person without expectation or projection. You can be present enough to fully take in and enjoy the moment. You can just relax, have fun and be free.
Surrender doesn't mean giving UP. It doesn't mean giving IN. It means giving WAY to the greater intelligence within your heart, your own inner light. It means connecting with your highest, truest, and freest self - that constant, eternal, unwavering part of your being that never changes, judges, or abandons you. It means listening to what it has to say and letting it lead you down the path, trusting that you are moving in the right direction, even if your current circumstances indicate otherwise. Your passions are always on purpose.
It seems like everyone else has what you don't have. It appears as if something has gone scarce or is being purposely withheld. And while this is definitely one version of reality, there's still a part of you that knows a more heavenly perspective. There's a part of you that still holds a less fractured point of truth. And when you find this spot within, when you tap into it, you remember. From here, there is nothing that you're missing. There is nothing that you lack.
In the midst of a life-altering shift, it's hard to believe that things are actually happening for us and that we are right where we need to be. As we free-fall into uncertainty, it can be difficult to trust where and even if we'll ever land.
If you find yourself floating in such a situation of confusion, if you're flying headfirst into foreign and unfamiliar territory, be as gentle and kind with yourself as you can throughout this process of transition. Know that at some point soon, you'll once again find yourself on solid ground. Remember that this is just a moment in the series of moments you will experience in a lifetime. It may very well be a pivotal point in your story, one which will undoubtably contribute to the wealth of knowledge, courage, and experience you will one day possess, as it helps you grow into the person you will one day become.
For now, remember that you are not alone in this struggle; help and support are much closer than you may believe. Find your footing beneath what is temporary. Connect to the timeless part of you. And let your future self guide you forward one step at a time.