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Whenever you notice a dip in your mood or a sudden negative reaction to a situation or conversation, ask yourself a series of questions:
“What are the facts about what just happened?”
“What am I telling myself this must mean about ME?”
“Why am I using this as an excuse to be such an a-hole to myself?”
Events and circumstances happen and we cannot always change or control them. But we always have the ability to draw our own conclusions about them. There’s the objective facts about what happened and then there’s the subjective meaning we place on it. There’s what went down, and then there’s what I’m telling myself about it- what I’m allowing this event to prove to me about myself. And we can use the situation to prove anything we want. Positive or negative.
Often, we have believed something about ourselves for so long that it just feels like it’s reality. Like it’s just the “way it is,” the one and only truth, an indisputable fact. “I am like this...” “I always...” “I can’t because I never...” And yet, if it’s something you are telling yourself about anything, if it’s a spin on a certain person, place, or thing, based on what’s been observed before - then it’s not a fact. It’s an opinion. It’s a thought that you have practiced enough til you could play it by heart. It may be reinforced by others, it may be a conclusion that many people could find evidence to support, but you are the one who has the final say. You decide what is true about you.
Remembering that we are all continually creating the meaning in our lives and that we have the inherent freedom to do so is... incredibly freeing. It’s just you up in that beautiful brain of yours. Your perception. Your point of view. Your choice.