Once upon a time, I followed my lifelong dream and moved to Los Angeles to pursue an acting career. A friend asked me, "If you weren't an actor, what else would you want to be? "
My (immediate, as if it was a thing) answer: "A traveling philosopher."
Years later, while working on camera and venting to a colleague about how unfulfilled I was starting to feel in my chosen occupation, she asked, "Well, what do you REALLY want to do? "
My (surprising at the time) answer: "I want to inspire people. I want to wake them up and remind them of who they really are."
A couple of years after that, I had already fallen into a fun career in voiceover and was spending the majority of my free time as a spiritual seeker and student when a first date inquired, "What do you do when you're not working? "
My (totally honest) answer: "I go on walks, take photos of flowers, and write down what comes to me."
After that, I went from being a full time voice actor to a part time one as I started working as an intuitive at a metaphysical shop. I thought this was where my ultimate fulfillment would be found! I would no longer be an actor. I took on the identity of a professional "spiritual" person. I offered readings. Taught workshops. Led support circles. And I really enjoyed it for the most part. But something still felt like it was missing; like this wasn't it but instead was just a part of it.
I started to notice a subtle pull back to acting and performance. I felt confused and stuck in some sort of identity-limbo. Wasn't I supposed to be growing my "spiritual" business? Wasn't that where my ultimate fulfillment would be found, in doing "spiritual" work? My mind said one thing but my genuine interest and true passion – my intuition – said another. So, as I have learned to do, I listened to my intuitive body. I started coaching actors and began putting energy back into my own voice acting career. I felt relief. I felt freedom. I felt the incredible ease and alignment I used to feel when performing. Even if what I was performing was a commercial script, it was an opportunity to play and to be in the moment. To tell a story. To convey meaning. To share a message. To allow for creative expression.
I recently thought back to my comment about wanting "to wake people up and remind them of who they really are." Perhaps I had needed to do that for myself as well; to reconnect to my eternal spiritual nature but to also honor my humanness and the unique and eclectic combination of traits and interests that make me, me. And so these days, when an acquaintance asks me the inevitable, "So what do you do?" my (excited to answer answer): "I do some voicing. Some writing. Some coaching." But I might as well just sum it all up and say "I'm a messenger" as that is basically at the center of all that I do, be it describing a company's new product or service, sharing inspirational reminders, or offering helpful tips and advice.
It's been several expansive years since the beginning of this story. And overall, I have learned that all work can be "spiritual" work when we feel connected and aligned with the "spiritual" aspect of ourselves. Fulfillment is never found somewhere out there; it is never dependent on any one particular job or position. Instead, it is a destination within; a feeling we can activate. Our ultimate fulfillment can only ever be experienced right here in this present moment as we honor our inner truth, follow our natural interests, and focus upon whatever happens to be bringing us joy.