In case you’ve been wondering… yes! I’m still very much here and tending to the words and images of this online garden. It hasn't been deserted even if it appears as such. I realize it’s been many weeks since I’ve posted anything in this forum. And it’s not that I haven’t been writing. I most certainly have. It’s just that the desire to share has been greatly overshadowed by the need to retreat and keep things a bit more sacred. I mean, some days you want to drunkenly dance at a stranger’s quinceañera and some days you want to hermit up and binge watch old episodes of Newhart while sucking down bowls of garlic marinara sauce like soup. You know.
In all honesty, the past several months have been quite intense.
And sometimes? You just need to take a pause.
We need our pauses. Especially in the wake of foundation-shaking life events. We need time to reset and process what we experienced in order to grow into the wiser and more expanded versions of ourselves. We need the space to reassess, rediscover, and reaffirm what is important to us and what we want out of these lives that we have the PRIVILEGE to be living.
So, yeah. That is what I have been doing. When it comes to putting my work out into the world, I’ve been waiting in my car with a foot on the brake pedal. I’ve been idling for a bit now while integrating these new energies. But it’s time for me to step on the gas yet again.
I align with the belief that the upsetting and transformative events that come into our lives are on time and very much ON purpose. Because they inevitably keep us IN line with our LIFE’S purpose. The people we meet, the obstacles and betrayals we encounter, the losses we experience, the unconscious beliefs that are revealed - all happen FOR us. All of that noteworthy junk is necessary for self-awareness, clarity and knowledge. So we can be better, know more and have more to give. Without these challenges we would just stay the same for our entire lives.
Yet, of course, when we are experiencing growing pains, it is quite difficult to remember that we are right where we need to be. I mean, duh. The disappointments and the anxieties feel awful. And even with a higher level awareness, we can’t avoid the hurt on the human level. Because we are supposed to be human while we’re here. We’ve got this sensory equipment for a reason. We get to experience both the ego and the soul levels.
And so, I guess that’s just the way it goes.
A multitude of attachments made and expectations either denied or exceeded.
An entire rainbow of emotions to embrace or ignore.
A variety of illusion-dissolving instances followed by soul-affirming epiphanies.
I think change is unavoidable. We will regularly find ourselves staring up at the unpredictable divine flow while it crashes up against our wobbly little egos. But we are not totally powerless. We have a choice in how we handle the current. We can fight against it or we can surrender. We can try to swim upstream or we can let go and appreciate its force, knowing that it is moving us towards more wisdom, insight and eventually all that we truly desire.
It is a process. A continuous life-long process. So why not trust the process, right?
The truth we tend to forget is that while we’re in these bodies, the evolutionary adventure is never really over! There is no end, just relatively brief resting points along the journey where we can catch our breath. Maybe do some laundry. Personally, at this moment I am wheeling a very full suitcase from most recent travels and I have a ton to unpack. What did I return with? Well, there’s a variety of trinkets and souvenirs, wisdoms and aha’s to articulate.
I’ll be publishing a couple of pieces in the next few weeks.
With purpose, for a purpose, on purpose.
And definitely on time.
See you soon. ❤️