Confidence v Arrogance

Arrogant people have got it ALL figured out. Just ask them. They are 100 percent right and you are 100 percent wrong. Their opinion isn’t just an opinion, it’s the undeniable TRUTH. They must convince you of their correctness or they do not feel satisfied. They will not rest until you concede. Yet, if they have to work hard to prove something to you, they are probably also trying to prove it to themselves. Somewhere in their bones, they may not believe it. They need you to validate their position. The arrogant are immensely insecure and often unaware of it. 

Confident people will admit they don’t know everything. They aren’t afraid of appearing any one way or another. They acknowledge your point of view and understand where you are coming from. They explain how they came to their own possibly opposing conclusions yet feel no need to force you into submission or agreement. They don’t have to prove anything to you as they know your opinion is just as valid as theirs. Your approval isn’t necessary. They’ve pushed their own boundaries, stared down their fears, and survived. They’ve won their self-acceptance and grown the deep and secure roots that come from it. 

Arrogance can never completely relax or trust the ground on which he stands, as his house has been built on the contents of pixie sticks.
Confidence rests easy at home, relying on a solid and firm foundation.

Arrogance separates. She creates hierarchies, tries to dominate, and clutches what she believes can only ever belong to one person at a time.
Confidence accepts. She is encouraging, inclusive, and open to all beings and inputs. Her position can never be threatened. 

Arrogance keeps thinking he has arrived. He looks back and down on all those behind him, hoping their memory gets lost in his dust. 
Confidence knows there is no destination. He walks into new experiences with humility and openness. He is grateful for all that came before. 

Confidence can talk to you about your latest project and will genuinely be interested. She may discuss her similar ideas as a means to connect and feel closely aligned with you. She champions your success and cheers on your wins. 
Arrogance listens through comparison. Every time you mention your project, she will feel the need to puff up and fluff up her own. She will downplay your work and achievements. She fears your success as she believes there is not enough room for both of you to thrive. Arrogance lives in a world of scarcity.

Arrogance will always try to TOP what you’ve got going on.
Confidence will let you have your moment.

Confidence operates out of empathy and treats others with compassion. Confidence can relate. He was once in their shoes too.
Arrogance won’t associate with what he is terrified of being. He won’t admit any possible resemblance.

Arrogance overcompensates. Her tales are tall and transparent.   
Confidence has no need to play at an identity or to pretend.
She just is as she is.

Arrogance needs to stand above you.
Confidence smiles, meeting you eye to eye. 

Arrogance is so much cooler than you and everyone you know. Her taste in music, film, fashion, and art is exclusive and untouchable. She looks upon others with severe judgment, issuing a patronizing and condescending “aww, how cute!” to anyone with similar style or attitude. She fears getting knocked off her elitist throne. 
Confidence lets you be you, exactly as you are. When you share what your favorite TV show is, she doesn’t bat an eye. How you dress is how you dress. What you like is what you like. She knows that in truth, she is neither superior nor inferior to anyone. She knows we are all unique combinations and shades of the same color wheel. 

Arrogance brags about the number of people that have shared his bed. He boasts about his conquests, believing quantity proves virility and power. 
Confidence says nothing, as his potency is never in question. He knows sexual intimacy is sacred and that quantity does not mean quality.

Arrogance won’t admit to anything that would jeopardize her projected image of perfection. 
Confidence admits when she has veered into arrogance, accepting that she is a work in progress.

Arrogance comes from fear.
Confidence comes from love.

*****

In truth, we all fall somewhere on the spectrum between confidence and arrogance in all areas of our lives. And where we are on that spectrum changes daily! I can slingshot back and forth quite often. It depends on mood, the person I’m interacting with, or where I’m at in my personal evolution. Sometimes when I’m hooked into my purpose and I’m feeling seen and heard, my life is like an amazing dream. Those days I am living and giving from a truly confident place. The energy there feels open, expansive and EASY. Then there are those times when I feel like one small ego lost in the crowd and I’m completely immersed in negativity and self-doubt. Those are the days when my insecure, hipper-than-thou teenage self takes over. And that bitch is crazy arrogant. Living with her at the helm is difficult. That energy is restrictive, anxious and less than fun.

And… I want fun. I want freedom. I want to enjoy my time here.

Isn’t that what we all want? Under all the piles of stuff we accumulate, aren’t we all just seeking our personal joy and freedom? So then, wouldn't we want to follow the path that takes us to even deeper levels of those experiences?

In life, we are ALWAYS at choice. We are never victims to our mental atmospheres unless we want to be. It’s really that simple. 

In a sense, being arrogant isn’t entirely bad. Even if I find the experience of it to be less than desirable, maybe I can use my arrogance as an opportunity for transformation. By practicing self-awareness and honesty, I can see moments of arrogance as a necessary flag, highlighting areas within myself that need some attention and alteration. I can notice when and where I try to feel superior and more powerful than others. I can ask myself whether or not I am really just overcompensating. What am I actually insecure about? Where am I not feeling good enough? And when I get my answer, I can course-correct. I can choose better feeling thoughts, ones which aren’t dependent on comparison to other people but instead feel like they have been reflected back to me by the ever-present eyes of the eternal. 

I can choose thoughts which remind me of my divinity.
And THAT is the source of true power.