Erika Ward - Voice Actor & Author
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Observations, Ruminations, & Illuminations

How can you not remember ME?

10/13/2019

 
Pink sunset over Button Mill Pond in Easton, Connecticut
​This past week, I’ve had two separate people introduce themselves to me as if it was our first time meeting, even though we had actually met before. One of the women had even given me Reiki a couple of months ago. Her hands had literally touched my body. Both of these instances, while incredibly minor, were ofcourse emotionally triggering. ⁣
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“What? You don’t remember ME? How can you not remember ME??” my ego cried in reaction, momentarily registering their slights as confirmation of my complete unimportance as a human being. ⁣
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“I must be forgettable!” was my initial takeaway from both these experiences, before I got a hold of myself and remembered what was probably at the root of their behavior: inattention to detail, absent-mindedness, ungroundedness, and/or self-absorption. And truthfully, we can all be that way! ⁣
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Reminding myself that their behavior wasn’t personal is helpful and yet, I still had my own personal reaction to it. I still told myself it meant something about me. I let it prove the point that I was unimportant and forgettable. And perhaps, underneath all that: I was unlovable. ⁣
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A friend recently posted a video about dealing with these types of emotionally triggering situations, how we can use them as opportunities for self-inquiry, self-acceptance, and ultimately personal transformation. And I think that is the 100% best way to handle it. Because, in truth, we are all just holding up magnifying mirrors for one another, allowing each other to get a closer look at what often goes unacknowledged.⁣
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And so, perhaps instead of getting annoyed at these ladies (which I was), maybe I should have given them both giant hugs and kisses and said, ⁣
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“Thank you! Thank you for showing me what I didn’t realize I was still carrying within myself. Thank you for amplifying some negative background noise. Thank you for giving me an excuse to show some love to the parts of me that feel neglected. And because your behavior bothered me so much, thank you for showing me how I don’t want to treat others and for reminding me of who and how I’d like to be.”⁣
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As my higher guidance always reminds me: ⁣
All is purposeful. ⁣

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​erikadward@gmail.com

  • Home.
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  • Voiceover.
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    • Books.
    • Blog.
  • Videos.
  • Contact.